


Break These Chains, Liberate Me (from the oblivion that consumes me)

by Crimson_Heda



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Fluff, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-20 14:47:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20677139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crimson_Heda/pseuds/Crimson_Heda
Summary: Lexa's duty was always to her people, the choice was made for her when she was born. Lead, or die. When she almost loses everything for the second time, it changes everything, and she's left with a choice. Control your demons, or succumb to them, but you cannot run from them.





	1. Trapped

**Author's Note:**

> I originally wrote this a few years ago and completely forgot about it, so here's me giving it another try. Rated E for scenes of torture and aftermath and eventual smut, I wrote this when going through a tough time in my life, and I'm not going to lie it's really dark and not for everyone. My first fanfic I've tried to write so go easy on me, yeah?

Warmth pressed flush against her back. She had been up for a while now, enjoying the feeling and closeness. The sun just peeked its way through the windows and spilled itself across the room. She frowned slightly. The coming of Dawn signaled the start of the day, and today was the day _she_ had to leave.

Soft lips press against her bare back and the arm around her pulled her closer, eliciting a soft hum from her. Clarke was the first to break the silence as she held Lexa impossibly closer, "How long have you been awake?"

Lexa's hand idly stroked the arm around her, "Some time now," she paused, bringing Clarke's hand up to her lips to lay a gentle kiss, "I'm trying to memorize this feeling before you leave."

Clarke smiled at the softness of the person in her arms. She nuzzled her chin into Lexa's neck, kissing her hairline and neck before settling with her mouth next to Lexa's ear. "Did you want to try to memorize another feeling before I leave too?" Lexa couldn't help but smile, she could feel Clarke smirking behind her.

"I think we did that well enough last night," She sighed, "Besides, we don't have much time left, can we just lay here, for a little while longer?" No other words were spoken, Clarke placed one last kiss on Lexa's back before laying back down behind her.

They laid there awake for what felt like hours. It wasn't often Clarke had to leave to go back to Arkadia, but when she did there was no telling how long she would be gone. Two days turned into two weeks, two weeks turned into two months. Lexa never once questioned Clarke's reasons for leaving, but she had come to love being in the sky girl's presence and her absence left a hole whenever she left.

Lexa never thought herself worthy of receiving this from anyone, never mind Clarke. Worthy of someone that makes her feel like in moments like these, she wasn't the Commander, she was just Lexa. Someone who was worthy of being loved and loving back.

She convinced herself that maybe if they stay laying there, barely moving, barely breathing, time itself will stop for them. That's what Lexa hoped.

But time was never kind to the Commander.

Her eyes faded to the darkness.

//

She must’ve drifted asleep at some point because when her eyes fluttered open, Clarke was no longer there. She sat up slowly, noting the sun still peaking through one of the windows on the east side of the tower. It was still morning, and Clarke wouldn’t have left for Arkadia without saying goodbye.

She sat straight up, stretching out her back and connecting her feet with the cool ground, ushering the sleep out from her body. Goosebumps traveled up her legs to the rest of her body, her nakedness finally registering. She blinked a few more times, and moved to get dressed.

Feeling each muscle tense as she moved, she slid her shirt and pants on. She was wound up tight, physically stressed about Clarke’s departure. Last night should have loosened her up a bit, she thought. _Oh, last night._ Lost in her thoughts, she barely heard a knock at her door.

Startled slightly, she continued with putting her shoes on, “Min yo op.” _Enter. _Her doors creaked open, revealing a Trikru scout and two guards.

“Heda.” The scout kneels upon entering the room.

Lexa stands, nodding to her guards and raising a hand up. “Bants.” _Leave us._

//

“Clarke.” 

Clarke finished putting the last of the rations she needed to travel into her horse’s pouches and turned her head to look at the woman staring at her. “They’re my people, Lexa.” She paused. By now, Clarke could see past Lexa’s stoic features and instead saw the pleading in her eyes. “If what Octavia said is true then Pike is going to ruin everything we’ve fought for. You have to let me do this.”

Lexa moved to place her hand on Clarke’s arm, “You know that is not what I am worried about, Clarke.” Blue eyes met Green, and Lexa refused to drop her gaze. “If the reports are true-”

“Lexa, there are reports like these all the time. She’s just trying to scare you.”

Lexa’s jaw instinctively twitched at the mention of her, “_Nia _isn’t trying to scare me, Clarke. It’s different this time.” Lexa brought herself closer to Clarke, this time her voice hushed, “The scouts have seen numerous groups of Azgeda warriors around Polis, they’re planning something Clarke, and I can’t promise to you that I know enough to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting, Lexa. I overheard the scouts, they haven’t seen Azgeda anywhere near Arkadia. I’ll make it there fine. Besides, everyone knows what you would do if something happened to me.”

Lexa paused a moment, green eyes swirling in silent rage, nostrils flaring slightly. “The last time I thought Queen Nia respected my Coalition, I lost everything.” Clarke heard Lexa’s voice falter as she mentioned Costia. “Let me send someone with you.” Clarke shook her head. “Then let me come with you.” Lexa’s voice was softer as she pleaded with Clarke.

“Le-” Clarke paused and looked around. They were at the gates of Polis, and Clarke quickly adjusted herself before calling the Commander by her name again in front of others. “Heda, your people are here. You stopped the war, now let me prevent this one.”

Lexa opened her mouth to protest, but didn’t continue. She knew Clarke wouldn’t budge if she already had her mind set. Lexa had lost this battle.

“The last thing that Pike wants to see right now is me going back to Arkardia with an _armed_ Grounder escort. You have to let me do this.” Clarke rubbed her hand down Lexa’s arm soothingly, “I’ll be back, Heda. This is where I’m needed.” _This is where I want to be._

Lexa nodded once, slowly, recalling the promises spilled through broken whispers from Clarke’s lips, so close, too close, not close enough to Lexa’s the night before, spilled until Lexa grew tired from the lack of touch and silenced Clarke with her own lips. She understood Clarke’s reason for leaving and going by herself, but inside she knew that when people left they did not always come back.

“I left something for you in Terra’s pouch.” Lexa moved to the pouch on the opposite side of where Clarke was storing her rations to retrieve the gift she left her. “Something fitting for your title and place in Polis, and by my side.” She pulled out at first what appeared to just be a sapphire blanket, but as she unraveled it in her arms Clarke realized what Lexa was giving her. Attached to the cloth, were two shoulder pauldrons, one for each shoulder, but unlike Lexa’s they were smaller, but were designed to look as though the metal were feathers on her shoulders. They were jet black, and clipped in an elaborate clasp in the front that looked similar to the Commander’s mark. The sapphire cape hung from the back of the pauldrons, instead of tapering as Lexa’s did to one side the cape draped from its attached place on both sides to a point that would reach the middle of Clarke’s back. Without saying another word Lexa placed the shoulder pauldrons on Clarke and clipped it in place. Lexa locked eyes with Clarke, patted the horse’s strong neck, and softly said, “Be safe. May we meet again.”

Clarke’s heart sang and let the sapphire envelope her. “Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander._

Lexa smiled, “You are getting better at learning our language, Clarke of the Sky People. Gouthru klir hashta yu soujon.” _Safe passage on your travels._

Clarke smiled in return, warmed that Lexa remembered the Traveler’s Blessing. She mounted her horse and nodded to the Commander, “Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim, Heda.” _May we meet again, Commander._ They locked eyes once more and Lexa gave Clarke one more small smile. Clarke turned her horse towards the gates and trotted off.

Lexa felt her heart rise in her throat, threatening to suffocate her and tear her asunder as she watched Clarke disappear through the thicket. She settled her left hand on the hilt of her sword, squeezing slightly to halt the tremors in her hand. _Azgeda will come for her. _

//

Clarke rode for hours without stopping. Even though she gave the warnings of Azgeda warriors no weight, it would be unwise for her to not cover significant ground before stopping, or at least, that is what Lexa would have told her. Clarke’s mind raced to her time in Polis and everything she has learned. Everything she experienced.

/

“Lexa?” Clarke walked into Lexa’s room without knocking, something only she could get away with. Lexa may be the Commander, but Clarke has always commanded a certain presence by herself. “Lexa? You called for me?” Clarke looked around her room for a few more seconds, admiring the dozens of candles perfectly lighting the room for a few seconds before Lexa revealed herself. Clad in her armor with that cape, that cape… red was Lexa’s color, it represented everything she was. Passionate, Strong, Determined, Powerful, among other things. It was a wild color like the fire that burned in her eyes, dreaming of a life that could have been when they locked with Clarke’s.

“Clarke, I have something for you.” Lexa held up clothing that was like that of which she wore leading up to Mount Weather, but this time with more straps and it appeared to be of a tighter fit with blue accents. “I had this made for you. It’s more fitting, so it won’t get in the way.”

Clarke scoffed slightly, “Get in the way of what, exactly?”

The corners of Lexa’s lips quirked up slightly, but only briefly, “We’re going hunting.”

“And here I was thinking hunting was beneath the Commander.”

Lexa’s smile only reappeared, “And here I was to think you learned something from Polis.”

//

The sun was setting and Arkadia was at least half a day’s travel away. Clarke made the decision to find a clearing in the woods and make camp to allow for herself and Terra to get some rest. It didn’t take long for her to find a big enough clearing for herself, Terra, and a fire. There was still light in the sky but it was going to be dark soon, and she’d prefer starting the fire when she could see rather than when she couldn’t.

It didn’t take her long to start a fire. She brought flint with her, and there was enough dry grass around to turn into a small pile. Once it was lit, it took quickly to the wood she had stacked on top. She took the furs she “borrowed” from Lexa and laid them down on the ground a few feet away from the fire and then situated herself on them. Terra took to her spot as well, falling asleep shortly after laying down. Clarke wrapped herself in the extra fabric of the furs, and allowed herself to reminisce a bit more before falling asleep.

/

When Lexa was done applying her own war paint she looked to Clarke. “Come here. Your turn.” Clarke’s heart tripped on its own beats, her mind registering what was going to take place. Her body moved on its own volition, scooting close to Lexa, their faces inches apart. Clarke didn’t dare speak a word. Lexa laid her left palm under Clarke’s chin as she held her steady and applied the war paint with her right hand delicately, every so often glancing into Clarke’s eyes to make sure she’s okay with what she was doing. First, Lexa applied the same pattern that Clarke wore the night Arkadia became the thirteenth clan. But after she looked back at her work she made the decision that it wasn’t enough. This wasn’t fit for Wanheda.

Clarke closed her eyes and allowed herself to fall into the moment. She was lulled by the brush strokes on her face, as well as Lexa’s breath gently touching her face. Her own face twitched slightly, the thought of Lexa’s lips on her mind. She smiled at the thought, and opened her eyes to look at Lexa again.

Lexa’s eyes beamed through her war paint. When Clarke opened her eyes Lexa’s hand stilled and she held Clarke’s gaze for a moment. Piercing green eyes meeting Clarke’s ocean blue. The ground meeting the sky. Clarke’s smile did not go unnoticed by Lexa, who reciprocated by offering her own smile before starting on Clarke’s face once more. She began to freehand it more. Every stroke premeditated and precise, like every decision or move that Lexa made. Quite like the way she fought as well. Her hand danced along Clarke’s face and Clarke tried her best not to twitch too bad when Lexa grazed a ticklish spot on her cheek. 

After waiting patiently for ten minutes Lexa put the brush down, much to Clarke’s disappointment. She wouldn’t mind if Lexa continued that all day. “Done.” Lexa muttered. Clarke saw something momentarily flash in Lexa’s face, but it was gone as fast as it appeared. Was that fear?

Clarke glided her hand over to Lexa’s and gave a small squeeze. “I’m sure it looks great.” Clarke said, picking up immediately at Lexa’s apprehension. Lexa gestured Clarke over to the mirror where she could look at herself.

Clarke saw herself and gasped. Lexa had outlined Clarke’s bone structure perfectly, and the war paint on her face resembled that of a skull. “Wanheda” Clarke whispered to herself.

Lexa rubbed her hands together unconsciously. “I know the nickname bothers you. But it is who you are now, Clarke. It is part of you like Heda is part of me. When others see you they will know who you are. They will not dare go against you.”

When Lexa looked up Clarke was in front of her, standing with her hand extended. “I love it. I look pretty bad ass.” Clarke said with a small smile. But there was something in Clarke’s eyes that Lexa picked up on. Her blue eyes seemed to steel themselves against the conflict behind them. Lexa felt herself being drawn into the void that Wanheda created.

The Commander paused, and stared deeper into Clarke’s eyes. “Maybe…” Clarke fidgeted slightly under the green eyes bearing into hers. “I have changed my mind.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow, surprised at the sudden change in direction. Lexa’s fingers wrapped around Clarke’s wrist, pulling her back down to sit.

“You are not Wanheda, Clarke. I was wrong to say that.” Lexa lifted a cloth to Clarke’s face and began wiping away the black. “You do not bring death and destruction to everything.” Clarke’s breath hitched in her throat, Lexa’s words having an incredibly strong effect on her.

“You are…” Lexa continued wiping away the skull on Clarke’s face while she searched for the most appropriate words. “Strong in ways that your people do not understand. You feel everything that you have done more than they will ever know. You lead when it is not your responsibility to do so but because it is what is _right._ I meant it when I said you were born for this Clarke. Not to bring war, or to cause death. But to create peace, and to give life.” Lexa’s thumb wiped a tear that had fallen from Clarke’s face before Clarke had realized she was crying. “You persevere in the face of darkness and win because you are _light _Clarke.” Lexa took a deep breath, dipping a different cloth into a bowl of water to finish taking the rest of the makeup off of Clarke.

Clarke’s heart raced inside of its cage. This _girl_ that kissed her and left her to die, this _girl _that had betrayed her still somehow made her feel so _small _and _vulnerable _and so willing and open at the same time. This one person who Clarke thought had caused so much irreparable damage was the only person who had been able to heal her. And Clarke wanted her to heal her. _Oh, she wanted her, too._

Lexa picked the brush back up and began applying the war paint once again. This time starting at the tip of Clarke’s nose and flaring it out. She covered Clarke’s eyes in black, brushing it out lightly to create a feather effect. Her free hand went back to its place under Clarke’s chin, gently stroking the skin there. Clarke was lulled half to sleep, which wasn’t helped by the fact Lexa hummed as she applied the black this time. The warmth of her voice coated her and felt like honey flowing through her brain. She let the waves of sound resonate in her body as she pictured them floating in a spring, reveling in innocence. She was pulled from her thoughts when Lexa cleared her throat, “Done.”

Clarke opened her eyes, and this time there was no apprehension on the Commander’s face. Just a smile, probably the biggest one she’s ever seen from her. It was one of the most beautiful sights she’s seen, and her brain hurt just from trying to store this exact moment somewhere safe forever. The way her hair was braided and rested on her shoulders, the perfectly imperfect strokes of war paint on her face to the shining green eyes and that _smile._ _Who else got to see her like this?_

“Hod op,” _Wait._ The smile now faltered in what seemed to be a fear that someone would walk in and see that _yes, the Commander can be happy too. _“Can I fix your hair?”

Clarke ran her fingers through her own hair, soft after just showering. “What’s wrong with it?”

Lexa blinked her eyes thoughtfully, “Nothing is wrong, Clarke. I just-”

A hand came up to brush a piece of hair away from Lexa’s face, cutting the Commander off midsentence. “Sha, Heda.” _Yes, Commander. _

Clarke moved to kneel on the floor in between Lexa’s legs facing away from her. She thought she heard Lexa’s voice catch behind her, but she couldn’t convince herself she made the noise.

Lexa’s voice did catch in her throat as she looked down at Clarke settled between her legs. She quickly reprimanded herself for thinking about other scenarios with Clarke between…

She cleared her throat and busied her hands in an attempt to busy her mind with other thoughts. She returned to humming the same tune as earlier.

It soothed Clarke in a way she couldn’t describe. It was similar to the rocking of a baby, or being wrapped up in the arms of a loved one. But it was different. It made its way to the darkest depths of her mind and silenced her demons with swords made of silk and shields made of fire to alight her from within. Combined with her hands scraping her scalp softly and the slight pulling of her hair, Clarke felt herself being swallowed whole.

“I’ve never seen you this indecisive before…” Clarke murmured softly, still enamored by what was happening.

But Lexa said nothing back. She continued to hum until she was done braiding Clarke’s hair.

She was in front of Clarke before Clarke realized she had moved, admiring her own work. A deep sigh escaped from her throat, carrying one word along, “_Nightingale…”_

Clarke blushed slightly under Lexa’s gaze. She felt herself being devoured, and what was it that Lexa just called her? “Lexa…?”

The Commander stood up and brushed something off her coat, “Let’s go, we have a hunt to get to.” With that, Lexa grabbed her hand and led them out of the tower.

/

“This is for you, Clarke.” Lexa pulled at the reigns of an all-white horse. The purest thing Clarke has seen, but her mind flashes briefly to the horse she saw on fire at TonDC. “She’s one of the fastest horses here in Polis, and she’s been through much, like you.” Lexa’s voice trailed off as Clarke walked around the side of the horse. There she saw burn scars, and Clarke immediately looked at Lexa for validation that this was indeed that same horse. “Everyone has scars, Clarke. Not all of them on the outside.” Lexa walked around the horse next to Clarke, her hand trailing on the horse. “Terra needs someone who understands her. I think you two are perfect for each other.” Again their eyes meet, and Clarke tries to hold back tears.

“Lexa… she’s perfect.” Clarke says, unable to say anything else. With that, Lexa grabbed at Clarke’s hips and helped her onto Terra. Clarke gasped slightly, not ready for the physical contact but it wasn’t something that bothered her either. Clarke’s smile stretched from ear to ear as she adjusted herself so she was properly mounted on Terra. It felt right. Clarke felt like she could feel Terra’s heartbeat match her own, as if they were in perfect synch. Like they already understood each other. Clarke bent forward, petting Terra’s long mane and whispering in her ear, “I’m here for you.”

/

They rode silently for about a half hour, perfectly content with just being in each other’s company. Clarke spent this time trying to feel how Terra moved, how she breathed. She’s rode on a horse before, but never had her own like this before. It was exhilarating. Lexa snapped Clarke back into reality. “Let’s stop here.”

Lexa was already off of her horse before Clarke realized, and she was already beside Clarke by the time Clarke was ready to get off. She held out her hand for Clarke to grab to help her off the horse, which Clarke graciously accepted. Lexa grabbed the reins of her horse, and tied him up to a tree with enough slack for him to move around and lay down, she then did the same with Clarke’s horse. “What’s his name?” Clarke asked about Lexa’s horse, his coat and mane as black as midnight, the complete opposite of Clarke’s.

Lexa sighed before smiling slightly, “You can’t laugh.”

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “Why would I laugh about a horse’s name?”

Lexa continued to pet the horse’s neck. The color reminded Clarke of Lexa’s nightblood, “Sky people have proven to be critical at times.”

“I won’t be.” Clarke reached her hand out next to Lexa’s to place on the horse’s neck.

“Apollo.” Lexa paused, but Clarke could tell she wanted to say more so Clarke gave way to the silence for a moment in case Lexa decided to go on, which she did. “My mother had a book she would read me when I was a child about Apollo. When he was just a boy he took down a vicious viper with a bow and arrow in order to stop it from killing innocent people. He was born to do it. And then everyday it was his job to-”

“Move the sun across the sky…” Clarke finished Lexa’s sentence and the Commander turned her head to face Clarke. “How did that story survive on the Ground?”

Lexa pursed her lips, thinking hard, “My mother repeated it to me each night. I think it was the only story she knew. I remember her telling me she learned it from her mother, and her mother before that.” She sighed softly, reflecting back to her mother. This was the first she had spoken of her to Clarke. “She knew I was a nightblood from the moment I was born. But she hid it from me, from everyone. She thought she was protecting me. Saving me, I suppose. Allowed me to train with Anya until even she couldn’t hide it from the Fleimkepas. But it’s like what I told you before, Clarke. We can’t run from who we are.” Lexa slid her hand down Apollo’s neck and turned to walk in the other direction.

Clarke smiled, thinking how fitting to name her horse Apollo. _Apollo the Greek God moved the sun across the sky, and now Apollo the horse, moves Lexa across the Ground. Bringing her own light everywhere she goes._

“Wait, Lexa?”

Lexa continued walking away from Clarke, “Hmm?”

“What was your mother’s name?”

Lexa stopped for a moment, head lifting up, eyes searching the sky for someone she hoped was there, “Freya.”

Before Clarke had time to ask any further questions Lexa took her shoulder guard and placed it on top of Apollo along with her long coat. She smiled slightly before turning to face Clarke with two bows and two quills of arrows in her hand. “No Skaikru guns this time around Clarke.”

Clarke smiled wide before grabbing an arrow and a quill. “Luckily for you, Octavia taught me how to shoot an arrow.”

Lexa smirked slightly, “Knowing how to do something and being good at it are two very different things, Clarke.” She said, emphasizing the “k” in her name.

Clarke choked slightly, unbelievably affected by the way Lexa said her name. She approached Lexa, mere inches away from her face when she uttered, “Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Lexa…” Clarke paused a second, studying Lexa’s face. The woman was amazing at hiding her emotions, but Clarke had picked up on Lexa’s micro expressions. She saw the slight flicker in her eyes and the way her eyebrow twitched. She stepped back for a moment, “Besides, you forget I was in the wild by myself for three months. I know how to hunt.”

Lexa smiled. This was the Clarke she knew. “Then lead the way.”

“Gladly.”

/

The hunting by itself was rather uneventful. They caught several rabbits, along with a wild hog, which Clarke took out rather expertly, much to Lexa’s amazement. It was nothing compared to the panther that Clarke took down, but they had both had fun being in each other’s company and relaxing a bit.

“So, Heda, was that better than you expected?”

“Sha, I expected you to be worse than a child. You were slightly better.” Lexa smirked slightly, carrying the hog on her back in a pack while Clarke carried the small catch. Clarke giggled softly, opting instead to let this go. However, seconds later Lexa stopped in her tracks.

_//_

Clarke snapped her eyes open as something crunched from behind her. _Who the hell just disturbed my daydreaming?_

Clarke stood up slowly and looked around, but before Clarke could register another thought, ropes were swung around her arms and legs, bringing her back down roughly. “Fuck!” She yelped, her face falling sharply against the handgun she had left by her side that she forgot to holster. She looked quickly to her horse, which she had haphazardly tied to a loose stone next to her. She quickly kicked the stone, freeing the horse. “Go!” And not even a second after the horse was gone. Seconds later a warrior with scars covering his face hovered over Clarke.

“Not so strong without your little Natrona are you?” Clarke’s heart dropped at the mention of Lexa, and something feral snapped inside of her. She began to kick and flail, and even attempted to bite. Clarke received a kick to the gut which made her gag at first, and then it had her struggling to breathe. “Ai nou fir raun!” _I am fearless!_

She looked up at the man above her, who stood chuckling, “We’ll see.”

He had the tell-tale markings and scarification of Azgeda on his face. _Fuck._

Clarke closed her eyes, imagining Lexa humming to her. _I’m so sorry Lexa, you were right. _She waited for this man to pick her up, or drag her, or do whatever it is he intended to do to her. But he didn’t.

_Drip, drip._

The two drips of warm liquid on her face startled her eyes wide open. Above her stood the man, a hand that wasn’t his covering his mouth to silence him, a sword plunged completely through his chest. The hushed words behind him, “Yu gonplei ste odon,” gave Clarke chills. _Your fight is over._

“Lexa!” Her name caught in her throat where she felt herself choking on it. _Choking on what almost happened._

The Commander wasted no time in untying Clarke from the ropes. Once she did, arms were wrapped tightly around her body as the blonde trembled in her arms.

“I’m so sorry Lexa, I should’ve listened I’m so-”

“Clarke. Lay down and stay down.” Lexa said in a hushed whisper. She held a finger to her lips, reaching for the bow and arrows from the fallen Azgeda warrior next to her to give them to Clarke. She pointed to the tree line around her, then brought her finger back to her lips. _There was more._ “Show yourselves!” Lexa yelled, her voice emanating authority.

On cue, eight Azgeda warriors emerged from the surrounding woods and surrounded the pair. Lexa’s face showed no emotion, no fear. She looked at Clarke, who held her own gaze on Lexa. Lexa nodded gently to Clarke. Trying to signal to her that it would be okay. “Chit yu gaf?” _What do you want?_ Lexa asked, unfazed by the eight men slowly encircling them.

One of them just pointed to Clarke, uttering one word. “Wanheda.”

Lexa’s stoic face turned to a stark glare, “Yu nou na dula daun, jomp em op en yu jomp ai op.” _You can’t, attack her and you attack me._

The leader scoffed and smirked, sizing her up and down, noting her red cape and Commander’s mark on her forehead. “We can take both of you then. I’m sure Queen Nia would prefer it.”

Clarke watched as Lexa’s hand fell upon the hilt of her sword. Even from behind Lexa, she could feel her glare.

Clarke barely had time to register anything as it happened. With expert skill, Lexa twirled on her heels and threw her dagger at the man behind Clarke, landing it in between his eyes. As the dagger was still flying through the air, Lexa nocked her own bow and shot it at one of the two men next to Clarke, and then nocked it once more before shooting the third and final man near Clarke. Lexa whirled back around, unsheathing her sword. Five men left.

An arrow flew in front of Lexa, landing in the skull of a man charging directly at her. Lexa turned her head to check where the arrow came from. Clarke stood proudly with another arrow cocked and ready to fly. Another warrior attempted to ambush her, but she expected this. She ducked under the swing, spun to the right and thrust her sword into the back of the man’s neck. Three Left. Lexa looked back at Clarke as she heard a whimper. One of the men had tackled her and had her pinned to the ground. Lexa snarled and charged towards Clarke. The warrior on top of Clarke spun off of her and guarded her from Lexa. Lexa’s once calm resolve turned into blood thirsty rage. Two of the remaining three men charged her at the same time. She ducked below them, grabbing both of their hands and directing their own swords at each other. They pierced each other’s skin, and dropped. One left. Lexa glared at the Leader.

The Leader’s face held a feral grin as he shouted, “Jus drein jus daun!” He threw Clarke down, Lexa quickly went to reach for her dagger or her sword and she quickly realized she left them where the men she killed them with were laying.

“Lexa!” Clarke shouted. Clarke silently wished she had paid more attention, wished she wasn’t in this position, wished that Lexa wouldn’t have to see someone she cared about die again.

Lexa charged towards them as fast as she could, the man’s sword coming down to meet Clarke’s neck. With no weapons, Lexa grabbed his blade through gloved hands with her left hand, her right elbow going to meet his jaw. As soon as her elbow made contact and she heard the crunch of the bone, her right hand went to the hilt of his sword and grabbed it from his hand. He fell down in pain, and without hesitation Lexa thrust his own sword into his heart.

All eight men lay on the ground. Once the Leader had fallen, Lexa fell to her knees, attempting to gather herself. “Hey, hey, hey…” Clarke whispered as she crawled over to Lexa. “You’re okay…” She placed a hand on Lexa’s shoulder only for Lexa to shrug her away. Clarke glanced to Lexa’s hand, which was streaming with black blood down onto the ground.

“Hodnes laik kwelnes…” _Love is weakness. _Lexa shuddered. Clarke shook her head. “Ai ste kwelen.” _I am weak._ Lexa mumbled.

Clarke took Lexa’s injured hand and began wrapping it immediately, “You’re wrong Lexa…” Clarke didn’t realize until her own tears were hitting Lexa’s bandage that she was crying.

Clarke took a staggered breath, Lexa’s eyes swam with longing and a feeling of being lost but wanting to belong to someone. She was terrified of being the root of all pain. Clarke could see it all just looking at her. Lexa felt like she deserved nothing in this world, and she was not worth what Clarke could give to her. Clarke didn’t hesitate for one more second before running her left hand through Lexa’s hair and placing her other hand at the back of Lexa’s neck before touching her lips to the Commander’s. At first it was supple and soft, a reminder that they were both going to be all right. Lexa pulled back tears streaming down her face.

“Shh…” She whispered between their lips. “Ai gaf yu, Leksa…” _I want you, Lexa. _Clarke whispered.

“No.” Lexa grasped Clarke’s wrists, pulling herself together “Apollo and Terra are just beyond that tree line, go.” Her voice cracked and faltered beneath the weight.

Clarke blinked hard, “What do you mean?”

“Ron we, Klark, Ron we!” _Run away Clarke, Run away!_

“No, Lexa, what, what do you mean?”

This time Lexa lifted her onto her feet and pushed her towards where the horses were. “Ron we Klark, Nau!” _Run away Clarke, Now!”_

The last push got Clarke’s feet moving and didn’t stop until she got past the tree line and saw the two horses. She glanced back and saw Lexa kneeling in the same place she had fallen earlier, head and shoulders sunken in. Clarke grabbed the reins on Apollo and began to walk him back to Lexa, until she saw an Azgeda warrior approaching Lexa. Where there was one, soon there was four, then ten, then thirty, and now it seems the trees themselves have turned into Azgeda warriors, surrounding Lexa.

Lexa stood and faced the warriors surrounding her, looking them in the eyes. Clarke watched on, her body feeling like it was being engulfed in flames at the realization she couldn’t do anything. “I’ll come for you Lexa, I promise.” She turned away from Lexa, a fit of sobs rocking her body as she mounted Terra and raced back to Polis.

The soldiers around her stood like monuments, glorious in their victory. She stood before them, unwavering in her position as Commander. “Once I heard of your, ‘relationship’ with Wanheda, I knew it was time to remind who was really in command, yet again.” The voice came from behind her, causing Lexa to snap around on her heels.

Nia stood a few feet away from her, reveling in what she had accomplished. “It was simple then to convince Arkadia to recall their Ambassador from Polis to negotiate terms of peace so I could get her right where I wanted her. Especially since Pike and I want the same things.” The Queen circled around Lexa, “He simply wanted Wanheda to stop ruining his plans, and, well, I would’ve put her death to fine use. You on the other hand, I did not fully expect to be _this _idiotic. I guess you care for Wanheda more than that other-” She smiled wildly, noticing Lexa’s nostrils flare and breath hitch. She signaled for her warriors to come and take Lexa. “Nou Heda noumou.” _Commander no longer._


	2. Echoes of the Past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks for reading and thank you to those who left comments ^.^ Just some background, this story does take place after Mount Weather was blown up by the Ice Nation, but before the Massacre by Pike. Also, I've always kind of headcannoned that Echo's mission in Trikru was to get information on Lexa so they are familiar with each other. Thank you for reading, and let me know what you think!

_Ash. _

Her eyes shot open, waking to shouting outside her tent. She had only just arrived back from her mission to the mountain a few nights prior, and she yearned for rest, but her demons haunted her in her dreams. _What had she done? Can this be forgiven? How far is too far?_

Begrudgingly, she wiped the sleep away from her eyes, having just begun to fall back asleep. She slipped out of her bed, sliding her clothes and shoes on before stepping out of her tent. Gathered in front of her was a crowd of Azgeda warriors and citizens alike, she could make out Queen Nia’s voice even from behind the crowd.

“This is the _woman _we call Commander? The _almighty_ Heda? She is just a child. Naïve and weak. And this? This, _Heda,_ is Azgeda. And Azgeda rejects _your_ coalition. Azgeda rejects _Heda._”

The crowd erupts with cheering as she attempts to force her way through the crowd. Squeezing by, elbows from jeering warriors hit her in her ribs and side of her head. _Fuck. This. _She told herself the next person to hit her was going to find their arm relocated to somewhere other than their body.

As she broke through a clearing that’s when she saw her. Lexa was on the ground clutching her eye. Nightblood seeped out between her fingers and down her arm, dripping onto the dirt beneath her. Her left arm was tied to a stake in the ground, and she couldn’t help but look on in horror, the memory of Mount Weather flashing back in her mind.

_Lexa was weak. She could’ve destroyed the mountain then._

But Lexa also saved her. Lexa saved them all.

“I should have killed you when I had the chance, Nia.” Lexa spat, pulling against the stake.

Nia laughed, “That is what a smart Commander would have done. But now look where we are.” Nia knelt down next to Lexa, digging a thumb into the cut over her eye. Lexa winced, her hand moving to grab Nia’s wrist. “I am _your Queen _now. Now, you are nothing. Your coalition won’t help you here.”

She stood conflicted, wanting what is best for Azgeda, but also feeling remorse for this girl before her. Her eyes flickered up to find Nia staring directly at her.

“Echo. Nice of you to join us.”

Echo shook her head. “What have you done?”

Nia stared Echo down, “What is best for Azgeda.”

Echo looked back down at the girl on the ground, still dressed in all her gear indicating her status. “Ai Haiplana, this is _not_ how we take the Coalition.”

“The Coalition will follow the flame, it matters not how it is obtained.” Nia pulled her hand away from Lexa, taking a step away to remain out of reach. “She stays until she tells us how to take it, or until we find ourselves a Fleimkepa. Whichever comes first.”

Nia turned on her heels, directing the crowd to disperse. “She tries to escape, do teach her a lesson.”

//

It was dark when Echo visited her. Lexa laid still on the dirt, hand clutching the side of her face. Dry Nightblood crusted over her hand, some still slowly seeping from the wound. Echo knelt down beside her, placing a hand softly on her shoulder.

“Lexa?” Her voice was hushed.

Lexa jostled slightly, her right eye opening momentarily to look at Echo, her left eye covered by blood and swollen shut. “Natrona…” _Traitor. _Lexa winced, the muscles in her face contorting to form a sentence sending pain to her eye and cheek. _Looks broken, _Echo thought.

Echo held out two vials and a container with water. “One to stop the bleeding and one for the pain.”

Lexa huffed, closing her eye again. “Why would I take medicine from a spy?” Lexa swallowed hard, turning slightly away from Echo. “Or did you forget everything that you’ve done?”

“I did what I thought was best for my people. Same as you.” Echo paused, expecting Lexa to respond, but she laid unmoving on the ground. “The mountain will bring no more pain to our people.”

“The _Mountain _means little to me.” Lexa spat. “What of Costia, Echo? Was that what was best for your people?”

Echo froze, the name bringing up memories she had long thought were repressed. Something strange burned behind her eyes. “She was my friend too, Lexa…”

/

Wind gently crept through and around her like the low cloud drifting through the trees across the lake in front of her, effervescent and not quite tangible, but it’s presence there all the same. Echo willed the wind to uplift her soul like it uplifts the wings of baby birds as they take their first flight, just a small push and she would be on her way. It carried the smell of flowers and pine on its wisps, and she wondered if anyone had whispered any secrets into its passing. How far had it travelled to get here? Is this where it comes to rest on its journey, in this place where land meets sky and even the clouds come down to respite from their endless cycle? 

Eyes closed, she opened her ears to listen to the story it had to tell. All it responded with was silence, the kind of silence that envelopes those who listen, submerging every signal in the brain until the only sound heard is a heartbeat steadily against the ear drums. She sat, listening to her own heart, every beat strong, rhythmic. She matched the sound of the beating to the slight thumping in her chest, a definitive sign that she was indeed, _still here._ She inhaled the wind that traveled miles to get here into her lungs, sucking it in until she could feel her heart pumping it into her fingertips. Weightlessness came over her, the feeling of becoming one with the wind, not quite here, nor there, just _existing._

The phantom hands of the wind caressed the side of her face like a distant lover, anchoring her to where she sat much like the roots to the trees in front of her. Swaying with the wind, bending but never breaking. How much have those trees seen, never unwavering from their spot to which they’re planted?

The wind tapered off, leaving this spot of solace to continue its never-ending journey. It took with it the smell of comfort and the sound of silence, leaving her in its wake. She opened her eyes, the sun finally breaking through and shining down on the water before her. The cloud, like the wind, had dissipated, leaving the trees anchored in their place. The trees seemed to tilt towards where the cloud left, like they were waving goodbye. _Was there anyone who missed her?_

“Echo, are you coming? Everyone’s waiting to see you off!” Echo looked up and noticed the girl standing over her. Her light brown hair was braided together and rested against her back, most of her hair out of her face. Her eyes a warm amber, like the sun.

“I doubt that, Costia.” Echo stood up, stretching her back out.

Costia smiled and started walking towards the path to TonDC, “Okay, maybe not everyone, but Lexa and Anya will be there!”

Echo scoffed and ran to catch up to Costia, who was walking at a faster pace than usual. “I’m just travelling to Sangedakru, I won’t be gone long.” _A lie, _Echo thought. _She was going back to Azgeda. _

Costia sighed softly, “Well between Lexa leaving for Polis again soon and you leaving I’ll be here by myself. I’m going to miss you two.”

Echo shoved Costia as gently as she could, “Don’t get sappy on me. Why don’t you join Lexa in Polis?”

“Really, Echo? Why do you think?”

Echo glanced at her, quirking an eyebrow up. Smiles cracked on both their faces and they erupted in laughter. “Titus” They said in unison.

“Let’s get back then. I suppose I’ll participate in whatever you have planned.”

“Good,” Costia smiled from ear to ear, “You didn’t really have a choice in the matter!”

//

“I didn’t know…” Echo trailed off, knowing her words meant little now.

Lexa was breathing faster, that much Echo could tell, “That’s a lie and we both know it. Tell me. What was it like carrying her head from Azgeda to Polis and leaving it on my bed?” Images flashed in Echo’s mind, the weight of the sack, the smell, Lexa’s screams when she found it. _Found her._

“I didn’t kill her Lexa.”

“No, you didn’t swing the sword, but she was as good as dead the moment you arrived in Trikru lands.” Lexa breathed shakily, the pain in her eye building as she spoke. “She trusted you. She loved you like a sister, Echo. We both did…”

Echo felt like she was suffocating. Her hands trembled, still holding onto the vials. Costia’s face looking up at her when she was brought to Azgeda haunting her, the way her amber eyes looked defeated and betrayed as she realized who Echo was. _What _Echo was. _I’m the reason she’s dead, _Echo told herself. She took a deep breath in an attempt to steel herself. “I couldn’t help her then. But I’m trying to help you now, Lexa. Take the damn vials.”

Lexa didn’t make a move to look at Echo or take the vials from her. “Fuck, Lexa, at least take the water then.”

“Jok of.” _Fuck you._

“Fine.” Echo pocketed the water and vials. “I’ll come back tomorrow night. Don’t try to fight them, Lexa. It’ll only make things worse.”

//

_Breathe._

She opened her eyes, the feeling of metal grates underneath her and around her the first thing to register to her brain. _No. No no no._ Looking around she saw countless other cages, like animals ripe for slaughter. _It’s just a dream. Just a dream._

A guard walked up and down the metal hallway, looking for any signs of dissidence. Echo closed her eyes, hoping to make herself invisible. Focusing on her breathing, _in, out, in, out, _she heard a light tapping of metal on metal. Opening her eyes she saw the doctor staring directly at her.

“This one hasn’t been bled in two days. She’ll have to do.”

“Sir,” the guard spoke up, “I thought the protocol was no more than five in a four-week period? She’s been bled nine times in three weeks, and we’re running out of supply.” He pointed around at the other grounders, whose numbers have begun to dwindle.

“Just be sure to monitor her through her… donation. If her pressure drops below sixty then you have permission to disconnect her.”

_They’re going to kill me this time. _

They opened the cage door, and she tried to will herself through the metal grates to get away, but the metal held her in place, “Please, please don’t.” Echo choked out, her throat hoarse.

“See?” The doctor spoke, “She can still talk, she clearly has enough strength. Hang her up.”

Echo fell out of her bed, hitting her head on the ground. _Fuck that mountain. _She rubbed at the insides of her elbows subconsciously, and checked them intently. _No, no new marks. I’m not there anymore._

She stood up out of bed and began pacing around, trying to rid her mind of her memories for the time being. Glancing down at her nightstand, she stared at the vials there. _Let’s try this again._

Picking them up and tucking them into her pocket, she exited her tent.

The darkness of the night fell on Azgeda. It felt heavy like a blanket in the way it settled over the land. It was summer but the cold still hung over them, Echo needed her heavy coat to stay warm at night. _Lexa must be freezing. _

She approached the area where Lexa had been left, two Azgeda warriors standing tall over her. “Fucking bitch.” Echo could hear Lexa whimpering from where she was.

“Hey!” The two men turned around to look at Echo. “Chit yu dula?” _What are you doing? _Echo walked faster, trying to see past them to Lexa.

“She, uh,” the warrior talking stuttered on his words as Echo stood in front of him, “she was trying to get away. Queen Nia said-” Echo’s fist met his gut, cutting him off.

“Touch the Commander again, and it will be my knife next time.” Echo threw the warrior down onto the ground, glaring at the other man standing next to him. “What are you looking at? Bants.” _Leave us. _The two warriors walked away, muttering something incoherent under their breath.

Echo knelt down next to Lexa for the second time that night, looking her over. Her eye stopped bleeding, but now her left arm hung from her shoulder in an inhuman way, as did her left leg from her knee. Her face was contorted in pain, her right eye looking up at Echo, her left still swollen shut.

“What did I tell you?” Echo reached into her pocket, pulling the vials and water back out.

Lexa winced, “Help me, Echo. Get me out of here.”

Echo sighed, “Will you please take these now?” She uncapped the vials and handed them over, this time Lexa took them without a fight, drinking them down.

“You would let me die like this? Like Costia?” Lexa cleared her throat, reaching for the water and taking a swig.

“What would you have me do Lexa? You think it easy to carry the Commander out of the camp without anyone noticing?” Lexa held up the water, handing it back to Echo. Echo pushed the water back in her direction, “Drink it all. I can’t guarantee I can get it to you every night.” Lexa nodded, downing the rest of the water and tossing the container onto the ground.

Echo moved to stand up, but Lexa firmly grasped her wrist. “Go to Polis, Echo. Tell Clarke, tell the ambassadors.” Echo scoffed at the thought of committing treason. “You _know _this is wrong. You are only loyal to Nia because she hasn’t killed you yet.”

“Nia saved me, Lexa.” Echo pulled her hand away from Lexa and took a step back. “I would have died if not for her.”

“I get it, Echo. You’re a survivor. You give her your loyalty so she does not think you are useless and decide to kill you.” Lexa paused, feeling the pain medication set it. “But tell me Echo, what would she do if I told her you were helping me?”

Echo felt a rage build up inside of her, “Oh, so you’re going to blackmail me?”

Lexa half-smiled, “Either you help me get out of here and live, or you die. Either way, there will be justice for Costia.”

/

“Ai Haiplana, Beja!” _My Queen, Please!”_ Echo slumped onto her knees, her face stained with tears, sobs stuck in her throat. “Teik em gonot raun!” _Let her go! _She thrashed against the arms that held her back.

The Queen snarled and swung her arm, her hand connecting with Echo’s face. “Kwelen.” _Weak. _Echo gasped, her body heavy in its grief.

“She didn’t do anything.” She wailed, her eyes to the ground, focused on small pools of red. _I did this._

“No, but this will let the Commander know who Azgeda really is.”

Echo heard the telltale sound of a sword being unsheathed, but she could not lift her head from where it was frozen in place. “Echo.” _Costia._ Echo could hear her crying now. “Echo, en’s ku.” _It’s okay._ Tremors wracked through Echo’s body, unable to do anything. Costia’s cries abruptly silenced, her head rolling in front of Echo.

“Take this to Polis,” Nia said, lifting Echo up by her hair, “or you will die with her.” The Queen dropped her to the ground, Echo’s eyes falling upon Costia’s for the last time.

//

The ambassadors gathered in the throne room, the realization of the loss of their Commander glaring at them in the form of her empty throne. Twelves clans were present, they were waiting on one ambassador.

“What’s the meaning of this? Only the Commander can call for an emergency meeting and she’s not here.” Roan spoke up over the muttering of the other ambassadors. “I don’t think it a coincidence that both she and Wanheda are both absent.” 

The throne room doors flung open, Clarke entering with Titus and three guards. Titus looked around at the ambassadors in the room, his eyes setting on Roan. “Three nights ago, Heda was taken.” He glared directly at Roan, his eyes boring into him. “By _Azgeda._”

Roan’s eyes grew wide, “I had nothing to do with that. I’ve been exiled! I’m a prisoner here.”

The three guards moved to encircle him, Titus continued to speak, “Lock him up. If Queen Nia is so bold as to harm Heda, kill him.” The guards nodded, escorting Roan out of the room.

Clarke stepped up, “With the Commander gone, it is up to the Ambassadors of the Coalition to make decisions in her place.” Clarke took a deep breath in shakily, “I move to gather the clans and their armies, and march on Azgeda.”

The ambassador from Floukru was the first to speak, “Are you insane? Azgeda has more warriors than all of us combined, and they know their terrain. They’re used to fighting in the cold. They’re going to be expecting us to come for her.”

“Then we make sure they aren’t expecting us.” Clarke stood before them, trying her best to not let her voice falter, to not fiddle with her own hands. “If we leave her, then Azgeda will take the Flame and instill their own Commander, against all of your traditions, against the wills of all past Commanders and they will leave you with a puppet of a Commander for Nia to control.”

“Is that so bad? Having Azgeda in charge?” The ambassador for Sangedakru spoke.

“I don’t know, do you want someone in charge of all thirteen clans who thinks the solution to their problems includes kidnapping, torture, and murder?” The ambassadors looked around at each other, all in silent agreement that perhaps, that is _not _what they want.

“Good.” Clarke turned to Titus, “We’ll get her back.”

Titus’ expression remained unchanged, “For her sake, you better hope so.”

“Let’s get started, shall we?”

//

Hours of deliberation passed and the ambassadors were no closer to determining how they were going to get into Azgeda unnoticed. They discussed mountain passes, underground paths, staying in the tree line, but none seemed like a plausible option. Not only that, but they had no idea where Lexa was being held. Was she at the Capitol? Most likely not, which would make finding her even harder, as Azgeda had hundreds of smaller villages all within their territory.

“Why don’t we ask Prince Roan?”

“What if he’s the spy?”

“What if he’s not and we don’t ask him?”

“Well what if he is and we all get killed because of it?”

Clarke sat silently, listening to the exchange between the ambassadors, trying to find the needle in the haystack when there was knocking on the door.

“Enter.” Titus said, moving closer to the door to open it himself.

A guard walked in, kneeling before the ambassadors. “Apologies for interrupting, but Wanheda is needed for a moment.” Clarke stood up, her body humming back to life after sitting for so long, and followed the guard out of the throne room.

“What is this about?” Clarke asked.

The guard motioned to her room, “Someone asked to talk to you by name, said they have information on Heda but didn’t want to say in front of the ambassadors. She’s in your room.”

Clarke quirked an eyebrow up, “So you let a stranger into my room because they asked for me? You guys are like chickens with their heads cut off without Heda, I swear.” The guard stood unfazed, and but confused by what she said. “I’ll be fine, but if you hear me screaming, do come and check on me.” The guard nodded and walked a few feet down the hall before picking a spot to stand post.

Clarke opened the door to her room and took a step in. The door slammed shut behind her, a hand covering over her mouth and pushing her against the wall. “Shh…” Clarke looked up and down at the person holding her. Brown hair, tattoo down her right arm that resembled Trikru’s pattern. Clarke nodded against the hand over her mouth, which slowly released her.

“Who are you? Trikru?”

The woman turned away from Clarke and took a few steps away. “No.”

“Well you could’ve had me fooled with the tattoo.” Clarke said, pointing to the ink.

The woman smiled, “That was the point.” She stood facing Clarke, “I’m from Azgeda.”

Panic surged through Clarke, her mind quickly searching the room for any form of defense.

“Clarke. I’m not here to hurt you.” The woman held her hands up in front of her, “I’m not armed, I’m just here to talk.”

“Then why talk here? Why so privately?” Clarke’s voice hushed so the guard wouldn’t hear.

The woman rolled her eyes, “Well I’m guessing you already have Roan held captive, and I was doubtful that the ambassadors would let an Azgeda spy sit in on their talks.”

“So I should trust the words of a spy?”

“Yes.” The woman took a deep breath in. “Let me start from the beginning. My name is Echo.”

“Echo? As in the same Echo who’s responsible for Mount Weather and the death of forty-nine of my people?

Echo sighed, _this might not be as easy as she thought_. “Do you want my help or not?”

Clarke crossed the room, motioning for Echo to sit down. “I guess that all depends on the information you can give me, so better start talking.”

Echo moved slowly to sit down, her eyes staying on Clarke. “I’m guessing you’re already planning on getting her back. And I’m also guessing that you can’t find a way in.”

Clarke smirked, “Wouldn’t take a genius to ascertain that, but continue.”

“I can tell you exactly where she is, and how to get her.” Echo crossed her arms and leaned back.

Sighing, Clarke replied, “Okay, so tell me what you got.”

“On the condition that I’m pardoned.”

Clarke tapped her finger against the table, looking Echo up and down. “That’s for Lexa to decide when she gets back.”

Echo shrugged, “You get me a map, and I’ll show you exactly where she is, troop force, passages, everything. In the meantime, I’ll buy you a cover.”

“And what exactly will that cover be?”

Echo smiled, her cockiness unsettling to Clarke, “I tell Nia the Ambassadors have no confidence in Lexa and that they are supportive of Azgeda’s claim to the Flame. She already thinks I’m here to sway them towards that inevitable decision anyways.”

“That will doom Lexa. Nia has no reason to keep her alive if the Ambassadors don’t want her as a Commander.”

“I can get you three weeks to get your army. I’ll send messages to Azgeda and tell Nia about the Ambassadors, then I’ll return in two weeks and inform her that I have arranged for a Fleimkepa to arrive shortly after my return to extract the Flame. Any longer than that and she’ll grow impatient and kill Lexa herself, any sooner and you won’t have enough time to gather your army. What’s important is that when I leave for Azgeda, that’s when you leave for the Mountain to join up with the rest of the Coalition. I’ll be able to distract her while you move.”

“And what if you’re wrong? What if Nia doesn’t wait?”

Echo frowned, “Then she dies. This is the only way I know that even has a chance. But if we do nothing, or worse, if you just decide to charge in there with an entire army, then a lot more people than Lexa will die.”

Clarke sifted the idea through her head, considering the logistics of it all. _That could work._ But something about this all didn’t sit right with Clarke. “Why are you doing this, Echo? What’s in it for you?”

“I get to sleep a little better at night.” Echo stood up, “Find me a map and I’ll give you what you need.”

//

Clarke returned back to her room after another several hours going over the plan to the ambassadors. Most of them thought it was a sound idea, however Floukru refused to partake in any rescue mission. For now, they all agreed to play the part in case Nia had other spies in Polis. There would be no talk of gathering, but two and a half weeks from tonight they would gather at Mount Weather and march on Azgeda, following a path that would have them avoid most sentries. The unavoidable ones would be taken out by scouts before they could alert the rest of Azgeda. All that was left now, was to wait, and trust the ambassadors to gather their armies.

She collapsed onto her bed, wrapping herself in her blankets that smelled like Lexa. Her mind flashed back to the morning before she was taken. The solace they both found themselves in, the warmth that wrapped them up and made them forget about everything except for each other. She sobbed quietly, terrified of what was happening to her, of what would happen to her. Terrified that she would lose her and that it would be her fault. Terrified that she would wake up to Lexa’s head on her bed. _This is what Lexa went through with Costia. _Her heart ached, she begged the universe not to take her. She pleaded with whoever was listening, they had taken enough from her and they couldn’t have Lexa. She would get her back.

Whatever it takes.

//

“Have you heard?”

Abby closed the door to her quarters behind them. “Watch what you say out in the open.” She ran her hand through her hair and sat down. “Yes, Raven. Clarke sent word to me when it happened.”

“Well are we going to do something? Clarke was the target.” Raven remained standing, her weight shifted off of her bad leg, arms crossed.

“What would you like me to do? Last I checked, Pike was in charge, _and _partially responsible for Lexa’s capture.” Abby ran her fingers over her temples in an effort to relieve the headache that was beginning to settle.

“So we’re going to do nothing? After everything Clarke did for us?”

“Don’t patronize me, Raven. I know what my daughter has sacrificed.”

“No, Abby. You don’t.” Raven shook her head, and turned to leave Abby’s room.

Raven closed the door behind her and walked down the hall back towards her own room. She stopped short a few rooms before hers and knocked three times.

The door creaked open slightly, like everything else on the Ark. “Octavia, can we talk?” Octavia nodded, opening her door a bit more allowing Raven to walk in. “Have you been in contact with Indra?”

“She told me everything. I’m guessing you’re here because that big brain of yours has a plan?” Octavia spoke as she moved to sit back down to fiddle with her blade.

“I’m actually here because I figured you already had a way to get out of here.”

Octavia paused a second, looking up at Raven, “I do. But we’re staying here.”

Raven blinked, her gaze not lifting from Octavia, “So you want to do nothing?” Octavia nodded. “What is wrong with everyone?” Raven turned around, about to head out the door again, “Fine. Guess I have to do everything myself.”

“Raven stop.” Octavia was up and gripping Raven’s arm before she could continue out the door. “Clarke needs us here.”

Raven pulled her arm away, “What does she expect us to do here with Pike and his puppets all about?”

Octavia placed a finger over her lips, “_Quiet._” She pulled Raven back further into her room. “She needs us to make sure Pike doesn’t get any more crazy ideas.”

Raven rolled her eyes, “I’ve designed space shuttles and I’m supposed to sit here and babysit?”

Octavia’s grip on her arm strengthened, “That’s _exactly_ what we’re going to do.”

//

Echo rode back in to the settlement where Lexa was being held and sought an audience with Nia. She rode through the square where Lexa was being held, but she was missing, and in her place was a puddle of night. _Oh no._

Echo arrived at the Queen’s tent, the cold air nipping at her ears and giving her a slight headache. She had just gotten used to the warmth of the Capitol. Sliding off of her horse and landing on her feet, Echo entered the Queen’s tent and knelt down.

“Ai Haiplana.” _My Queen. _

Nia stood over Echo, sharpening her blade. “Echo, it’s been almost a fortnight since you were here. Last I heard from you was that the Ambassadors supported us, and then, nothing.”

Echo’s mind raced, wondering if Lexa was alive, if all of this was for nothing. “My apologies, my Queen. The Ambassadors do support an Azgeda Ascension, and because of this, I had been busy searching for a Fleimkepa that would come to Azgeda.” The Queen smiled, her eyes brightening as Echo spoke, “Her name is Gaia and she will be here any day now.” Echo swallowed hard.

“I guess that means we can’t kill her just yet, then.” Echo’s heart sank back into her chest where it belonged. “In case you were wondering, she is not dead, yet. She’s being seen by a healer now, started coughing and throwing up black in the middle of the square, it was wasn’t the most appealing thing to be looking at in the middle of the day. She’s a lot more fragile than she looks, you know.”

“I will go make sure the healers are doing their job then. Can’t have an improper Ascension, after all.” Echo rose and walked out of Nia’s tent.

Entering the healer’s tent, Echo approached the healer that was standing over Lexa. Lexa’s arm and knee still hung unnaturally from her body, her clothes replaced with wraps and gauze. Bruises traveled up and down both sides of her torso, “What are you doing for her?” Echo asked.

The healer shrugged, “Not much, the Queen doesn’t want her healthy, just alive. She specifically requested we don’t fix the dislocations, or the breaks in the face and ribs, keep her just weak enough that she can’t escape.”

Echo felt that unfamiliar stinging behind her eyes again. “So what exactly are you doing?”

The healer shifted uncomfortably, “Well the coughing and puking of blood suggest internal bleed, so we’re giving her medication to clot the bleeding and hopefully slow the process.”

“_Slow _the process? And what process is that? Her death?” Echo balled her fists up to prevent from hitting the healer.

“Yes, the whole point is to keep her alive until the Fleimkepa gets here, right? No one here actually knows how Ascensions work.”

“Let me know when she wakes.” Echo turned on her heels and rushed out of the tent. Her hands shook involuntarily, her heart raced and she could feel a pressure building in her chest. _Fuck, not now. Don’t do this now._

She ran to her tent, getting inside before the tears started streaming down her face. She struggled to breathe, the panic settling over her, oppressive. The feeling of being kept on the brink of death lingered in her spine, an unpleasant reminder of how close she was. Staring at Lexa she saw herself in the Mountain. Trapped, so close to dying but never allowed the actual release of death. _I begged for it. Does Lexa?_

_I have to keep her alive until Clarke gets here. _


End file.
